There can be few experiences in life worse than finding out that you have a cheating Spouse. The betrayal of Trust, the “I can’t believe that this is happening to me”. The feelings of guilt that arise when you look back and “blame yourself” when you know deep down that “you’re the injured party” and do you know what? The worst thing is when you hear about it from someone else – that you have a cheating Spouse – it’s the ‘shock’ and the ‘shame’ of it. Sounds familiar doesn’t it?
Well, if you’re reading this article – you definitely have a suspicion that you have a cheating Spouse or at least you are inquisitive to find out what the “warning signs” are for future reference. Maybe your best friend is suspicious and you want to help her. There are a whole variety of motives for just “wanting to know” – even if it’s just to put your mind at rest!
To find out if you have a cheating Spouse you may not need to hire an expensive private investigator nor invest in expensive surveillance equipment – nope, as a starter you should look for (sometimes quite obvious) signs for the cheating Spouse.
First of all let’s take a look at some of the critical signs that will alert you to whether or not you have a cheating Spouse
- Habits change – He/She is coming home at odd times and neither offers or gives a rational explanation.
- He/She starts telling lies without a reason.
- He/She starts to buy a new wardrobe.
- The spending pattern changes - more money than usual going out as well!
- He/She starts exercising – going to the Gym, often at “odd” times.
- He/she starts a new diet and shows much greater attention to personal appearance all of a sudden.
- He/She starts changing their driving patterns.
- Lastly but not least, your spouse doesn’t seem interested in “you”. There’s always something else to do rather than “talk”!
Ok, so now you have got past the signs and you’re convinced that something is amiss – now let’s see how to catch a cheating Spouse.
Tip #1 - Don’t Panic
The first thing to do is not to Panic! Yes – don’t panic – it’s the worst thing you could possibly do. Act like an observer whilst continuing to treat your Spouse as you had beforehand. Let your Spouse show his/her cheating behaviour.
Tip #2 - Action Plan
This is to catch your cheating Spouse in the Act. You can say to your Spouse that you are going to visit your Moms for the weekend or going to see the Game with your buddies and then park the car out of view and see what happens! Maybe nothing – but just maybe your suspicions may finally be confirmed.
Tip #3 - Keep a Record
Now that you have your suspicions confirmed. Write down what you find for example phone calls, emails, absences and keep your journal hidden. Don’t think of it as spying on your Spouse, think of it as information gathering. When it’s down in black and white it’s hard for your cheating Spouse to deny the patterns and lies.
It’s important not to jump to conclusions from the outset, as mistakes can be made. At this stage it is also good to exercise caution. Remember to treat your Spouse as you have always done to avoid suspicion and an initiation on your spouses behalf of “covering their tracks” making your task all the harder.
Tip #4 - Don’t ask Yet!
At this stage it’s also wise to not ask directly if your Spouse is cheating as let’s face it if he or she is cheating on you –it’s pretty likely they are going to lie about it!
Tip #5 - Remain Cool, Calm and Collected
Restrain temptation to have an “all out fight” at this stage as it will get you nowhere. Cool, Calm and Collected – amass the evidence from the behaviour then “plan” your “outing of the affair”. At this stage you will have the evidence!
Tip #6 - A word of Caution
Do not confront your cheating Spouse if for example your husband has a history of aggression towards yourself and your children. If that is the case then leave the detective work to someone who is professional in the field.
Tip #7 - Plan for the Consequences.
OK so now your cheating Spouse has admitted the Affair. What Next? Well my friend that is a question you are best placed to Answer!