Parents play an integral role in helping their disabled child learn an instrument. The child's success is often dependent on both his or her effort as well as his or her parent's role.
First and foremost, a parent should maintain good contact with the teacher. Ask the teacher how your child is doing and if there's anything you can do to help. Keep updated on your child's progress from the teacher's perspective. Remember, what's "good" or "bad" to you may not be to a trained teacher. Always make sure you communicate with your child's teacher about progress and any other matters.
When the student is in the lesson, if you can be there, you should. The teacher may not know the special ways you discipline or control the child's behavior. Your presence may help the student to behave properly in the lesson. You can also focus entirely on helping to control the child (if necessary) while the teacher focuses on teaching the instrument. This joint approach usually works well. Ask your child's teacher before you do this, but many teachers will gladly accept a parent's help with a child who has disabilities.
At the end of each lesson, ask your child's teacher to sum up what she would like him to practice at home for the next week. She should give you specific goals to accomplish, such as "Do page two in the theory book, practice these rhythms with the rhythm sticks, and learn this short song." Make note of the goals yourself; your child will not (no young child does).
When you are at home, set up a usual practice time. Ask your child to practice everyday, even if it's only for five or ten minutes. Consistency is absolutely key to any beginner, but especially to a child with disabilities. Make sure your child knows when this practice time is.
During practice time, help him with anything he seems confused about. Ask the teacher to explain the assignment if you are unfamiliar with music. For example, he may need help doing his theory homework. Sit down and do it with him. If you are interested in it and trying to help, he may do better.
Also, give your child a chance to experiment. Some children with disabilities are very bright but very easily frustrated. Hand the child the instrument and ask him to play. Whatever he does is okay, as long as he's trying. Encourage him and coach him, but don't try to interfere too much. Give him feedback but allow him to figure things out on his own.
Report any progress or any issues to your child's teacher at the next lesson. She needs to know how much he is practicing at home and what he is doing. Take note of what he seems to be doing well at and what he is struggling with. Make sure you mention any difficulties he is having to his teacher so she can deal with them appropriately.
Most of musical learning goes on at home during practice time, so it's crucial that your child practices. If he is easily frustrated, try to encourage him and calm him down, and practice often but in short sessions. Once he begins to understand, he will want to practice more, and he will do better.
Remember: help your child as much as possible without interfering, and keep up communication with your child's teacher. This will help your child develop into a talented musician.